Computer says NO

Actual transcript from SOHO Concierge 7/22/06 00:11:00AM:

Jac: Hi, my name is Jacque (although my computer wouldn't know it) and I need a genius. It seems, in a fit of paranoia, I deleted my root user.
Genius/Guru: I've got a sutra for that, but first, may I ask you, why DID you cut off your hands?
Jac: I thought the net info manager was only for the web.
Genius/Guru (smiling): Oh, it's much more important than that! Capaccino?
Jac: Yes, please.
Genius/Guru: So you didn't think you could do it, eh?
Jac: I don't know what I thought, monkeys were dropping out of the sky, with user names like "secret hash"
Genius/Guru: So now, you know you have the power?
Jac: Yes, and I will only use it for good. Thanks for the capaccino and the sutra, this wasn't like an enema at all!!
Genius/Guru: Go forth and prosper, brave and curious one.