mary cheney op-ed

Hello, same sex marriage: not federal. not even remotely. but anyway, here's an op-ed from Times Select, which is such a dopey name.


December 17, 2006

Op-Ed Columnist

Mary Cheney's Bundle of Joy
By FRANK RICH

...

Senator Frist is now a lame duck, and his brand of pandering, typified
by his errant upbeat diagnosis of the brain-dead Terri Schiavo's
condition, is following him to political Valhalla. The 2006 midterms
left Karl Rove's supposedly foolproof playbook in tatters. It was hard
for the Republicans to deal the gay card one more time after the Mark
Foley and Ted Haggard scandals revealed that today's conservative
hierarchy is much like Roy Cohn's milieu in "Angels in America," minus
the wit and pathos.

...

This time around, ballot initiatives banning same-sex marriage drew
markedly less support than in 2004; the draconian one endorsed by Mr.
McCain in Arizona was voted down altogether. Two national politicians
who had kowtowed egregiously to their party's fringe, Rick Santorum
and George Allen, were defeated, joining their ideological fellow
travelers Tom DeLay and Ralph Reed in the political junkyard. To
further confirm the inexorable march of social history, the only
Christmas season miracle to lift the beleaguered Bush administration
this year has been the announcement that Mary Cheney, the vice
president's gay daughter, is pregnant. Her growing family is the
living rejoinder to those in her father's party who would relegate gay
American couples and their children to second-class legal or human
status.

...

Some of them are at last standing up to the extremists in
their own camp.

No one more dramatically so, perhaps, than Rick Warren, the Orange
County, Calif., megachurch leader and best-selling author of "The
Purpose Driven Life." He has adopted AIDS in Africa as a signature
crusade, and invited Barack Obama to join the usual suspects,
including Senator Brownback, to address his World AIDS Day conference
on the issue. This prompted predictable outrage from the right because
of Mr. Obama's liberal politics, especially on abortion. One radio
host, Kevin McCullough, demonized the Democrat for pursuing "inhumane,
sick and sinister evil" as a legislator. An open letter sponsored by
18 "pro-life" groups protested the invitation, also citing Mr. Obama's
"evil." But Mr. Warren didn't blink.

Among those defending the invitation was David Kuo, the former deputy
director of the Bush White House's Office of Faith-Based and Community
Initiatives. In a book, "Tempting Faith," as well as in interviews and
on his blog, the heretical Mr. Kuo has become a tough conservative
critic of the corruption of religion by politicians and
religious-right leaders who are guilty of "taking Jesus and reducing
him to some precinct captain, to some get-out-the-vote guy." Of those
"family" groups who criticized Mr. Obama's appearance at the AIDS
conference, Mr. Kuo wrote, "Are they so blind and possessed with such
a narrow definition of life that they can think of life only in
utero?" The answer, of course, is yes. The Christian Coalition parted
ways with its new president-elect, a Florida megachurch pastor, Joel
Hunter, after he announced that he would take on bigger issues like
poverty and global warming.

...
A liberal like Howard Dean is no more credible talking about the Bible (during the
2004 campaign he said his favorite book in the New Testament was Job)
than twice-married candidates like Mr. McCain are persuasive at
pledging allegiance to "the sanctity of marriage."

For all the skeptical theories about the Obama boomlet — or real boom,
we don't know yet — no one doubts that his language about faith is his
own, not a crib sheet provided by a conservative evangelical preacher
or a liberal political consultant on "values." That's why a Democrat
from Chicago whose voting record is to the left of Hillary Clinton's
received the same standing ovation from the thousands at Rick Warren's
Saddleback Church that he did from his own party's throngs in New
Hampshire. After a quarter-century of watching politicians from both
parties exploit religion for partisan and often mean-spirited
political gain, voters on all sides of this country's culture wars are
finally in the market for something new.

excuses excuses

"can we toss the Poodle around like a football?"

"No."

"But it's Christmas."




"can i pee in the bed instead of getting up?"

"No."

"But it's Christmas."

Would America elect an African American President?

Yes - because we should just say yes to that question.

But wait. What if more than half the population, or the majority in states with lots of electoral college votes, would not vote for an African American man?

All else being equal - if the only difference in candidates was race - then only the assholes would NOT vote for an African American man. Actually, only the white assholes.

Who else wouldn't vote for an African American man, all else being equal? People who believe that he could never win the election, and who only want to vote for a winner. So perception is important.

Also, people who are very isolated and cannot imagine that an African American man could represent America, because their America is a very limited, specific thing ... and they're convinced that the myth of Black under-acheivement they see on TV is true.

So white assholes, pessimist power mongers, and isolated victims of deception.

Do those three groups comprise more than 50% of voters, or the majority in enough states to gather most electoral college votes?

NO. Because YES - America can elect an African American president.

(thanks to Claire for having this conversation with me this morning.)

IFC award

we decided that the Independent Film Channel should give an award to George Bush for creating such blatantly horrible circumstances that inspired a plethora of activist documentaries.

wii!

Wii is fun! And it's nice for deaf people. Deaf people don't get to play sports that much, but the wii does not rely on sound at all. yay!

butter is like herion

love is like oxygen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeQrrYMvsY0
and

butter is like heroin
Ya get to much
ya get too high
Not enought that you're going to die
butter makes you high

Happy Thanksgiving people!

attention! i am trying to back up.

imagine a female voice - the voice of a secretary in a 1950s gangster movie - repeating "attention! i am trying to back up." the voice jabs its way through your bedroom window, persistently, mechanically, waking you up. you envision frusturated 50s clone women in straight skirt suits trying unsuccessfully to walk backwards. they furrow their brows, "attention! i am trying to back up."

meanwhile, in reality outside the bedroom window, there are a couple dozen construction workers across the street waiting for one of the trucks to back into position so they can start their job.

i like all the commotion. i like the bladerunner talking machines, the pissy female truck, the new 300 story buildings that rise up in a day.

can it be true?

i watched this film http://www.loosechange911.com/ and became convinced that the events of 9/11/01 were done by americans.

it's hard to wrap your head around. every instinct in you that seeks harmony and normalcy rejects the idea. our brains are not built to absorb deception on this level, and to call it deception.

but there it is. check out the film.

\\http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7866929448192753501&q=loose+change+recut

Red Politik

So excuse my ranting last week, about red product. I obviously am attracted to red, but I am angry.
I guess I am seeing red.
How is it now, that we've made it to 2006 (those of us who have made it) corporation marketing has done away with the ribbon and kept the red?
The red ads are shouting to me on buses- buy something red and fight aids, wear it, and fight aids. In the case of the gap, it's aids in africa and bono is all over this.
I'm sorry but this shit makes me sick.
I hate when celebrities cash in on global misfortune.
Yes the T-shirt was entirely made by HIV positive people in Africa, great- are they getting shares of profit that sparks me and countless others to buy that red leather jacket that goes with it, or is that just padding the corporation?
Let's not even talk about the PR that bono gets for setting up these sleep overs with corporate magnates.

I know I some of you must be like- what the hell crawled up her ass, but really folks do you really fall for the "benevolent corporation"???

And also apple- what the fuck- I liked you guys!?!
This kind of shit just makes me postal. Hi there you lazy American consumer who consumes way too much, buy this little token of "hope" we are benevolent, don't you feel better now?!?

I'm not holding back but let me stop and think this spin through--so ok Red=Red ='s blood and blood, oh blood / aids
Ah yes the red ribbon thingy that people wore in the 80's - I get it!
Eeek, we are really grabbing at straws here.
I think the question should be- do we want to buy something red and believe we are helping someone with aids? This is like buying the Sally Struthers shit - oh I'm feeding the children, yeah and families in Ohio.

Red's the New Gun Metal

Corporations have decided that we like red product. So fess up. The crazy heady days of coke in the 80's and any retro throw backs to these days are now officially over- gun metal is over and most certainly, so is black.

Oddly, I was visited by a painter this evening who came by to estimate the work to our apartment. At one point during his assessment of the walls and the very eclectic color scheme, he stood and pondered the infamous red wall in the living room.
Hi words were the following: you did it, you made it work, now move past it. Without this gay snooty queen, I don't think I would have fessed up, and moved on- I owned the red wall, paid for it and cashed in for a chance at something better.
So, despite my cravings for red nanos that are politically correct and gap product that continues to be a uniform for my generation, I find myself moving on because red has become fashionable again.
So I'm cozying up a glacial direction with maybe some yellow for warmth.
The painter also mentioned that Alexis and I could think of the colors of places we've been or want to go to...we both flashed and shouted in unison: "the glacier"- so RED is out this year, been there- done that.
Hey, the last time I had smoked almonds, I was on a glacier, just thought I'd mention that.

tv and little children...

all this from friends:

put two empty, identical beakers in front of a 4 year old. fill them to the same level. ask him, "which one has more liquid?" he will say they have the same amount.

in front of the 4 year old, empty one beaker into a long flat container. empty the other into a tall skinny container. ask him, "which one has more liquid?" he will say the tall one has more.

point to a dog, and ask the child, "what kind of animal is that?" he will say it's a dog.

put a cat mask on the dog and ask the child the same question. he will say it's a cat.

cable television subscription rates are highly correlated with autism, controlling for other factors. precipitation is another highly correlated factor: more tv is watched when it's rainy out.

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1548682,00.html
http://www.slate.com/id/2151538

Ode to Creamsicle

Creamsicle was the last of my fish, she passed shortly after midnight late tonight. Creamsicle had fish lice that she picked up from friends I brought home from the fish store to keep her company. The road to hell is paved with good intentions I guess, I thought she was lonely.

Not that I needed proof, but when I saw my girlfriend picking fish lice off my fish, I knew she loved me.

I feel it is a new era here on 3rd St...out with the old and and in with something new. New job, new living situation, soon to be new TV, new is good and new keeps you young, or busy or dreamy about the new things you could get. I could have a lizard now, or maybe a turtle-what am I -nine???

So I raise my glass to a fish who always came when I called her, played nice with the other fish- even though it killed her, and hide in the corner. Creamsicle, I hope my next pet has half the personality your fishy brain did!

flush

GOOD NIGHT NY

If you could work any gig-what would you do?

I've been wrestling with this myself lately. The freelance lifestyle supports this, since what you are doing and where you are doing it is relative from week to week.

So belly up to the bar folks, what shall it be for your mid-life, near mid-life or afterlife crisis?

How many times have you thought to yourself, I could be a massage therapist or a social worker when you had reached the end of your rope on some hellish work day?

Feeling artsy and creative??? Maybe I could be a painter or with this digital camera, I could turn pro!

Did you know there are professional video game players- check out mlgpro.com - I'm working on a show for them.

Which leads me to my closing thought, isn't it all about doing what makes you happy/content?

Where would you go?

If you could spend one day in any place in any time in history, where would you go? You get three. Here are mine. And thanks to Ferzoco for posing this question yesterday.

1. Spain in the early 1930s, during the anarchist and worker uprising and just before the facist revolution

2. Somewhere in Africa a very long time ago (i know nothing) among a group of farming families that had been nomads less than 3 generations prior.

3. Assuming human history includes the future, i want to be among the second or third generation born away from Earth, or i want to be there on Earth's last day, whichever comes first. (if it's Earth's last day then i'd like to be in Varanasi.)

funny moment

jac and i were walking home in the east village last. we saw a long line of people outside a movie theater. we decided to ask someone what movie they were waiting for, and i chose to ask an older couple toward the front of the line. they weren't actively talking or busy, and they seemed like nice old people - - timid, kindly. I asked the man, "what movie are you in line for?" and he said "Jackass."

he thought it was funny too.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Karl Marx

Sometimes when I am working, I start to wonder, what might life be like for Karl Marx, if he were alive today. What would the experience of individuals working online or interacting with personal computers, pda's and podcasts, and watching reality TV do to the man and his thinking?
He might have a web site, but would he see media as an instrument of freedom or enslavement?
I don't think he would have a talk show, I think he'd be a blogger.
Just a thought.

The Rules of Paris

The rules to the card game Paris are now on this blog as the very first post (February 2006). If you are ever again sitting around wondering how to play it, you can just go to this blog, Jeff.

Paris is communal.
Paris is easy.
Paris is all about the tens, bitches.

Experiments in sleep deprivation

10 Things that may happen to you If you are sleepy enough and find yourself in Pittsburgh on game day:
1. Sleep though the flight and only wake when the plane touches the ground, thinking: "oh great, we landed, I am not dead and no one blew up the palne."
2. Be unable to do simple math in you head, and in extreme hours of fatigue, unable to add on paper- particiularly nasty when dealing with timecode. NOTE: The subject, after failing to add, reports that she did not know here name and could only mutter someting about pumpkin pie.
3.Experience a euphoria drug like experience with auditory hallucinations and equilibrium side effects akin to Ecstasy-i.e. feeling your whole life is one long take of a 70mm filmed tracking shot, and you are floating through it.
4. Finally get that nasty cold your girlfriend had last week.
5.Become bitchy.
6.Feel as though you are some kind of rockstar, espcially if you are in an area or sports stadium.
7.See visions of people wearing T-shirts with McDonald's logo's on them that have LCD flat panel tv screens embedded in the shirts, so that they look like teletubby's that are walking ads for McD's. Oh wait, that was real. *****It is important to note that what the subject found most distubing, was that the McD's videos contained audio and the teletubbys were communicating to each other over the audio track, so it was a very loud and scary vision that you were forced to look at, which gave McD's exposure as the teletubbys walked past onto a diabetic coma.
8.Think that you are an alien.
9. Use the words "death culture" in a sentence repeatedly while watching people with game faces walk by.
10.Fall asleep when you sit down.

Power Belly

Did you ever find yourself a part of someone else's conversation. Susan, a co-worker, thought the edit where I am working is called: Power Belly, it's not called that at all, it's valley -not belly.
Anyway, I have been spending alot of time in the edit valley, and on my downtime, when I was sleeping this morning I dreamt I had a huge belly that had magical powers.
I could heal people of their troubles and woes just by belly dancing and letting them touch my belly.

The anti L Word

Jac has to work all week, all weekend, all the time. I just drink all day, for the most part. So she gave me an assignment. She told me to come up with a cast of characters for an anti-L Word tv show.

Karen, a 28 year old security guard, overweight, addicted to fast food, trying to quit smoking. Was once enrolled in junior college but got arrested on false charges of identify theft (actually she was just stealing money from relatives).

Caren, a 29 year old yoga instructor and graduate student. She will discover that she is not a lesbian, just like she was not a hare krishna 5 years ago.

Karine, a 28 year old school teacher in Nassau County. She comes into New York City every Friday and Saturday night and, starting at 7 PM, gets far too drunk. She has one night stands fairly often, usually followed by dull, uncomfortable second dates.

Corrina, a 29 year old first-year attorney in a large law firm. Combative and over-confident, she is often approached by men. She has a wide circle of catty friends and is usually seen in a large group of lesbians, competing.

That takes care of the butch, the pretty flake, the mullet, and the predator. Add a cast of impressionable NYU students and the drama practically writes itself.

netflix queue gone wonky

i've just watched three films in a row about women being institutionalized for various reasons. the last two had british accents, so i'm thinking about this in a kind of working class lilt. i'm to speak on a panel in a couple hours, and i hope i don't end my questions on a down-note or use the word "what" inappropriately...

the first film was about a girl in afghanistan who dresses as a boy, gets found out, and is sent to live in a locked room for the rest of her life.

the second was about three young women. one was raped, one had a child out of wedlock, and one very pretty. they were all sent to a kind of slave labor camp run by nuns. one was rescued, two escaped.

the third film was about a kind, tea-obsessed old woman who performs illegal abortions on Friday afternoons. she is sent to prison where she meets other women who performed abortions.

The whole thing is just too much.

The common element is that women have been controlled, men inspired, by uniformity.

I could stand to listen to some Peaches right about now.

Search and Recovery

Check Check...Check 1- 2- 3- tap tap tap...Is this thing on?
Well, hello it has been a long time. I am washed anew, clean from my old self. Since our last one-side (mostly) conversation, I have seen some really great sites, drank some really great beer, and eaten smoked almonds on the Athabasca Glacier. I am talking of course about Canada, oh Canada. To compound my total loss of self in my travels, it happened to be a full moon while I was up there. Some Indian dude on Granville Island, with a smudge bowl of sage and a feather remarked while he smudged me that I had gotten hit "bigtime" by the full moon. I knew what he meant, but I did not know the what extent.

I'm sorry, I do not have a picture to show you from my trip, that costs extra, I think it will cost me a total of $600 when all is added up. You see things sunk in from the great north when I got home to NYC. Upon my arrival, I found a giant pile of extremely fertile dirt (only 2 bugs Alexis) but very rich soil- lying under my cow's head in the shape of a cone. Strange there were cones of what you though was dirt on the glacier, but it wasn't dirt, it was solid ice with a dirt finish.
So out went the cow's head- I had that thing for 15 years.

Next was the big crash of 2006 for me. My hard drive went down on August 21st. After tears of shock and $600 later, I may have a working computer this evening and my data recovered.

So after sleeping in postcard settings and breathing mountain air, NY has continued to temper me to this new moon cycle. I am washed anew and I feel lighter, even though I opted for a 120 gig hard drive, man will that be heavy when it crashes full.

Washroom dreaming

Back in a city from the wild landscape that is the Canadian Rockies. I no longer dream about walking on a glacier. Asleep in Vancouver, fresh from walking the city streets and drinking vodka and red bull in a huge gay bar, I dreamt that I had entered my friend's Jeff and Jim's apartment in NY. I had to go to the bathroom, so I went into "Jeff's" room used his privee. Jeff enters his room at that moment looking rather stunning, dressed as Elizabeth Taylor in Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf.
JEFF (startled): Oh, Hello.
JACQUE: I just was using your bathroom, hello, what are you dressed----
JEFF (non-chalant): Oh, it was Liz Taylor night at The Urge, I'm Liz in Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf, and Jim went as National Velvet.
Jim enters holding a riding crop.

Mel Gibson + South Park = Pure Magic

mel gibson was just arrested for drunk driving. in the docket, available online, he rants like a crazy person against jews.

matt and trey: we wish we were you. here are our suggestions for how south park should address this emerging national issue.

1. Mel Gibson enters Jew Hater Rehab, where he learns, through immersion, that Jews can be likable. Guest stars include likable jews such as Jon Stewart, Harrison Ford, and me.

2. The Saddam Hussein Makeover institute/reality tv enterprise is denied federal funding after MADD (mothers against drunk driving) holds a protest, headed by the little jewish kid's mother.

3. Cuervo hires Mel Gibson to host Catholics Gone Wild. It's so lame, Cartman stops hating jews.

4. The south park kids take a field trip to the Museum of Tolerance (again) and are taken hostage by umpa lumpas (side plot).

5. Mel Gibson tries to redeem reputation by going on Oprah. He refuses to acknowledge the holocaust, Oprah denies her lesbian relationship with Gayle for the 3rd time, at that moment, Oprah's minge crows "When will we see Pooki again?" Kenny dies.

Ideas? Comments.

one of THOSE people

we don't just make reservations. we make maps. we make spreadsheets. we identify appropriate indicators and graph them against outcomes. we make lists upon lists. we set alarms. we leave ourselves voice mails.

we are lazy, easily bored, and often drunk. we have terrible memories. we can't place your face, can't place your name. actually, we have no idea who you are.

it's a good thing we're not too involved with the church.

we're not sure where we are. we're pumpkin pies. we need our lists, our maps, our self-imposed commands. we need other people's cigarettes. we love concierges, we love 411.

and we can't wait to get going.

(i'm bored. can i have a cigarette?)

Computer says NO

Actual transcript from SOHO Concierge 7/22/06 00:11:00AM:

Jac: Hi, my name is Jacque (although my computer wouldn't know it) and I need a genius. It seems, in a fit of paranoia, I deleted my root user.
Genius/Guru: I've got a sutra for that, but first, may I ask you, why DID you cut off your hands?
Jac: I thought the net info manager was only for the web.
Genius/Guru (smiling): Oh, it's much more important than that! Capaccino?
Jac: Yes, please.
Genius/Guru: So you didn't think you could do it, eh?
Jac: I don't know what I thought, monkeys were dropping out of the sky, with user names like "secret hash"
Genius/Guru: So now, you know you have the power?
Jac: Yes, and I will only use it for good. Thanks for the capaccino and the sutra, this wasn't like an enema at all!!
Genius/Guru: Go forth and prosper, brave and curious one.

Vacation

My head is sooo there...I even dressed in beach wear to work today.
August has always been about vacation for me since I've been in college. I'd always take summer gigs that ended the beginning of August, so I would have worked my butt off, had some cash, and decided to blow some on a great vacation. Last year we went to a great hot spring, and this year we are on a hot spring tour. I can't wait. I won't be taking my computer, but I think I'm going to take my camera and attempt to film as much as I can. Bringing a camera is usually about work, but I love looking back the trip so much, I'll balance it.

ode to the poodle

we are dogsitting once again. this is to be sung to the tune of "i'll never tell", the Xander and Anya song from the Buffy musical.

She snores
She wheezes
Say housework and she ... wheezes.
She pees by skeezy feces that i can't describe.
I talk, she wheezes.
She doesn't know what cheese is.
Her breathing gets impeded when she lies on her side!
The vibe gets kind of hairy.
Like she thinks the neighbor's scary
Like it's all just temporary
Like her toes are kind of hairy
But it's all very well
Cause, Hey! There's something to smell.

(sorry dudes. i woke up early all cracked out from the heat wave.)

Does this template make my butt look big?

Give me your opinions on the new template, then i'll update the links.

Fair Weather

Here's an article i just wrote with Jennifer Cox (Regional Plan Association, Hunter College):

Each year for the last three years, this region has suffered from increasingly severe floods. Last week the most recent floods struck New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania. Newspaper articles and television reports, both local and national, reported the worst of the damage and highlighted the most dramatic scenes of wreckage. Residents were advised on flood safety and evacuation plans; there was even some discussion of the connection to longer-term climate patterns.

All in all, though, the flooding was treated as an unavoidable act of nature. Indicative of this trend was the New York Times editorial of June 30, which lamented the death toll but ended by simply praying for less rain in July. Missing was the true story – that this flooding has a direct cause and can be avoided. Not all rainstorms need to lead to floods, and we can, in part, blame the pavement. The region’s rapid pace of sprawling development has replaced absorbent soil with impervious surfaces, leaving the rain with no place to go but into our streets and homes.

From 1965 to 1995, the amount of urbanized land in this region doubled. Urbanized land as a share of total land increased from 20% to 40% during those 30 years. Since then, the pace of development has almost certainly increased. This pattern has generated the necessary conditions for extreme floods. The more we make the land impervious to water with brick, concrete, and asphalt, the more heavy rains can turn in to flood hazards. Impervious surfaces prevent the rain from soaking into the ground effectively, slowly entering our streams and rivers over time. Instead the rain water quickly becomes runoff, funneled into our water ways via storm drains far too fast, causing extreme flood events. Last week, this was painfully evident in Pennsylvania, New York, and New Jersey.

While the general patterns of climate change may increase the frequency and strength of storms all over the world, the severity of the impact of those storms will be greatest in places, like this region, that have built over too much of the land. The solution is not necessarily to curb development altogether, but rather to find more sustainable development patterns. This is not a new concept. Ian McHarg’s classic text, ‘Design with Nature’ (1969) gives many examples that have successfully led to regions managing natural hazards in a sustainable way. On a large scale, this means investing in more mass transit and fewer highways, denser, centered development and open space preservation. On a site-specific scale, this can mean residential and commercial developments using green roofs, semi-permeable pavements, rainwater harvesting, and on-site irrigation to create a sustainable built environment in healthy riparian zones.

As we saw with Hurricane Katrina, a region’s vulnerability to storms is borne most heavily by the poor, the elderly, those without access to transportation, and those living within the flood plain. While our exposure to storm and flooding risk is critical, it is our socio-economic vulnerability that is the true measure of our ability to cope with a disaster. Since socio-economic divisions are also reflected in our settlement patterns, there is a complex dynamic between land use development patterns that promote flooding and those that leave vulnerable populations most exposed. In flood-prone areas, the poor are less likely to have flood insurance, have less access to transportation and are more vulnerable to economic disruption. In short, the more our sprawling land uses are perpetuated, the more severe flood events we can expect, and the more these populations are likely to be at risk. This changes the meaning of ‘Fair Weather,’ does it not?

I don't remember learning memory

Memory has been a topic I feel I am writing a lifetime dissertation about. As I've watch my nana's reality slip out of her mind and interviewed memory experts for UNRAVELED, I've remained enthusiastic about how memory functions. I don't remember learning memory, but it has seemed I always knew how to use it. As a kid, when my mom passed away, I remember I wanted to commit the scent of my mother to memory. It was an instinctual reaction to her death. Coming home from the hospital, I ran to her bedroom and shut the door behind me. On the back of the door hung my mother's purple house robe, I grabbed it to my nose and inhaled it. I must have been in a meditative place, it seemed as if I had "recorded" or imprinted the memory of how my mother smelled.

Last night I was sharing childhood stories with my girlfriend and I spaced out for a moment. There was a glitch in my head, for a moment, the memory had triggered the scent of my mother. It seemed to be a part of me, This did not depress me, and I wasn't elated either, it just made me think about how we are wired, DNA, and how we define ourselves from our experiences.

I wonder how far away we are from experiencing each other's memories, and, how deeply do we actually want to share the experience? Will we download each other's data of the same experience to really feel what the other person felt? My Sci-fi self immediately picture's the last scene of A CLOCKWORK ORANGE, but there will probably be an Ipod Nano experience of this as well. Imagine saying to your girlfriend,"I downloaded your presentation you gave to the interns earlier, and I can really understand why you want to go into teaching."
That might be cool.

We have nothing to lose but our land lines, i mean chains

"37% of Americans believe same-sex marriage should be legal."

That's just not true. It was taken from a telephone poll that only used numbers attached to land lines.

An Associated Press/Pew Research Center study of people who only use cell phones shows that 51% of those Americans support same-sex marriage.

Fifty one percent. Sounds like just enough, doesn't it?

Pollsters still use land lines. Because of this polls will continue to reflect the opinions of older, more conservative people.

I don't know whether it's possible or desireable for pollsters to start calling cell phone numbers. But in the meantime, their polls should reflect the universe they select more accurately. There's nothing random about a sample of land line numbers. Results should be weighted to reflect the bias of the sample.

Maybe then someone would start listening to Chief Justice Judith Kaye, longtime feminist and all-around hero, who wrote in her dissenting opinion: "Limiting marriage to opposite-sex couples undeniably restricts gays and lesbians from marrying their chosen same-sex partners … and thus constitutes discrimination based on sexual orientation.” and “A history or tradition of discrimination does not make the discrimination constitutional. It is circular reasoning to maintain that marriage must remain a heterosexual institution because that is what it historically has been.”

The definition of marriage has changed over time, thank god. Women are no longer property. Blacks can marry whites and it's still actually a legal marriage. Women have a right to divorce husbands even if they can't bear children etc etc.... The definition has changed before, both legally and culturally. 'Bout damn time it changes again.

We could start by asking Pew, Quinnipiac and Associated Press whether they poll people with only cell phones, and if not whether they weight their results to reflect the inherent bias in their sample. Not exactly a rallying cry, but it speaks to me.

Evita Revival and then the World

Maybe it's because of this week's celebration of our nation's freedom, or perhaps it's yesterday's NY Court's Ruling against gay marriage, and Georgia's Supreme Court decision to reinstate a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage-either way I say, when life gives you irony, make a hot poker to shove up a politician's constituency. Hi Eliot!

Meanwhile, as we continue to create history on this debate for marriage equality, at least can we be entertained? I propose someone please for the love of God, bring back Evita on Broadway! And, NO, I do not want Madonna to be in the revival.
Madge might very well come out on stage strapped to a cross and everyone will just yawn, preaching to the bloody converted again, ho hum...No, this is serious motivational strategic planning.
If it's going to be done, it needs to be done right, and it needs to be "old school" so, Patti Lupone may once again be allowed to assert her rightful place in theatrical history and motivate us for a change NOW.
I know as a member of the LBGTQ Community that if we can just come together on this one issue, we can make everything right in the world. Who knows how the chain reaction of one victory on broadway can affect the queer community!?! An Evita revival may be just the thing to see gay marriage through, now, not 10 years from now.

The Myth of the 1 Hour Meeting

Courtesy of Jason Fried and lifehacker.com:

"If you're going to schedule a meeting that lasts one hour and invite 10 people to attend then it's a ten-hour meeting, not a one-hour meeting. You are trading 10 hours of productivity for one hour of meeting time. And it's probably more like 15 hours since there are mental switching costs associated with stopping what you're doing, going somewhere else to do something else, and then resuming what you were doing before."

The Incredible Shrinking Middle Class

I was a child of the seventies, and I sang along to Patti LuPone's line in Evita: "Screw the Middle Classes, I will never like them and they will never like me!" Now in my forties I worry about the apathy for the increased erosion of the middle class in our country.
I never thought when I went from my father's blue-collar, working class, union household, to my grandparents middle class home that either of these worlds would now be under attack. It is increasingly clear with the current adminstration's tactics of "out of sight-out of mind" that we are on the path to a totalitarian society ruled by an upper class--period!

Am I the only one awake enough to get this chess move?

The middle class is being erased. Patti Lupone and company would have rejoiced in song over this, and I would have joined in on the chorus, to bring it "home" as a kid in a working class household. My father hated the middle class, even though it included my clueless, hard-working, spend-thrifty grandparents, to my father-the middle class was the enemy, not something to aspire towards. Now,the generation of savers is falling by the wayside in the wake of high interest rates created by generations who followed them. It's not the golden calf, it's the plastic calf (CREDIT with hidden fees) plotting the course toward a "middle-classless" nation.

The only thing that is sad about the shrinking middle class, is the fact that they are terrible at organizing! Now that they do not have manufacturing plants close-by to meet and discuss what is happening to them, forget it! I mean who want's to fly to some country where manufacturing is now outsourced to even begin to retrace the steps that have led them towards dismantling their place is history.

Workers of the world will always unite, meet for coffee, discuss, form groups, and organize--workers have nothing to lose but their chains. Why the rift between working class and middle class, was it a management issue? Have we lost the mddle class now that manufacturing in this country is almost non-existent?

turtles

There were turtles in chinatown today. and it was stinky. something wasn't right.

it's always a little stinky by the fish monger, but today it smelled like poo. sorry: feces.

there were two buckets. One was full of live normal-sized turtles like the kind you'd find in the backyard in Florida. The other held only two enormous turtles - sea turtles maybe? i thought beth would know, but then i was glad she wasn't there. the two giant turtles were hugely sad - - and i think they were creating the smell.

that little bit of grand street was just all kinds of wrong today.

we saw a baby in just a diaper screaming in the heat and i said, 'he's still better off than the turtles.' we saw an old man hobbling along with one leg bent completely the wrong way. no comparison. those turtles were living in misery.

it was a mouse. it had to be a mouse.

the droppings have been found.
the likely point of entry has been identified.

there were visions of ghoulish monsters swimming blindly in a bowl of soapy water.

now i'm replacing said visions with those of a cute, perky rodent, splashing around like an furry moron.

the hardware store is about to make some money.

the bottle of tylenol pm in the fridge is about to expire... might as well make a dent in it tonight.

i'll have druggy dreams of a blind monster battling a witless mouse. they'll build forts of steel wool and have a shootout with caulking guns.

I haven't the Vegas...

Vegas is sad: I do not like it.
Mostly, it gives me side glances when I walk through the Casino.
Every now and then, it rushes to greet me, mellons bobbing, cigarette hangin' out of her mouth, just like Liz in Who's Afraid of Virgina Wolf.
Vegas has been watching me work. It knows I do not speak slot machine, so it shrugs me off...muttering something incoherent, cowboy guns a' blazing in neon.

Entering Vegas and functioning within it is like standing in front of a camera and being asked to tell your life story. Once the camera lights go on, the IQ goes down about 20pts, that's how I felt when I arrived here. My theory was tested when I had to put the camera on some people. Once that camera light went on, they froze- pretty bad, as the first question was "give me your name and where you're from. I've seen this happen to stars on a set many times before, It is harder to talk about yourself on camera, than to read from a script...
I imagine it's a lot like placing a bet at a gambling table-I still wouldn't know, but I've seen it.

Hoffa THE MOVIE

No, this is not a blog about the Teamster and Hoffa, dear reader, it's just consuming my days so this is what I'm blogging about....
This morning I hit the ground running at 7AM- out of the shower, just in time to here my hotel room ring (sadly it was NOT French sounding). On the other end of the line was the Teamster's Dir. of Communications (they call him Boss Hog, on the walkies, his sidekick answers to Capt. Stuebing), he was basically calling to recant something he said last night, and that YES IWAS RIGHT AGAIN, I should be in the convention hall at 7:30AM to catch the rally.
All I can say is Thank God I brought my DV camera and Camera Genius Yervant!!!
Together we shot some footage that was pretty amazing. There were 2 lines of Teamsters and a procession down the middle of it! The procession started with flags and drummers, then Hoffa, shaking hands. As I was walking backwards, guiding Yervan who was shooting, I had to hold him by the belt loops. It was so funny and cute, here's sapcey Yervant shooting an artsy move on the waving flags, totally holding the procession up. I grabbed him and gently guided him through the cheering masses.

It was totally like that movie HOFFA-no joke, that was how I felt. The cheering, the flag waving, Hoffa giving the speech with the bull horn and then pumping his fist in the air...

Alexis and I are going to rent the movie when I get back home.

my weekend in rhyme

Saturday:
i went to the office, came back,
watched 5 hours and laid on my back
I’m talking like CJ
While wearing my pjs
The West Wing is my new-found crack

Sunday:
The F train is full of detritus
i'm scowling and being a tight ass
rainbow flags...
drunken hags...
My girlfriend is still in las vegas.

Sunday night:
i ventured away from my skulking
for some friends and some wine and some laughing
we sat in the dark
for shakespeare in the park
i left after Act 1 due to coughing.

Represent

My girlfriend Alexis has been dancing virtually everytime I tell her that I'm not so happy to be in Vegas. I am now doing the happy "I told you so" dance since I was right about the map in the open having it's own beat in the Teamster video, and Jeffrey's initial plan of a gavel coming out of a box, cutting into this footage is now out.

We are putting all the gavel shots at the end of the peice to segue into the gavel's live arrival onto stage. 40 Teamsters will hand it down to the guy who is calling the convention to order.

Another fun part of my job here producing, was interviewing Teamster's as to why they are here at the convention, and what does it mean to them. I met some really cool people and I found out that there is an LGBT Caucus in the house! At first they wouldn't talk to me- they were shy and afraid to speak on camera, I coaxed them into speaking and they were great! I am going to put them in the closing video-gotta represent!

So now I want to follow my father's footsteps and be a teamster, something I thought I'd never say. Hilmer, who know feels more like a brother than a work mate, joked about sweat shops and long hours spent editing. I've joked about this many times before...I guess I still find the joke funny -we do get obsessed with frames here in this little edit suite!

Legacy

I remember seeing the Teamster Logo on checks my sister and I got after my father died, we recieved checks until we turned 16, I think it was in the neighborhood of $70 per kid per month, but hey it was a nice gesture. How strange to jump cut my life: here's me at 40, walking through Bally's Casino, carrying a gavel specially made to "call the Teamster Convention to order"-it has the Teamster logo on the box and on the wooden block, where you strike the gavel. I'm carrying it because I have to shoot it for the opening video tomorrow. The lady that gave it to me from the Teamsters (a woman who was referred to as "GOD" by the other people in the room) said I could take it if it was to be locked up tonight. I replied: "Yes, Cindy (apparantly God's name is Cindy) it will be locked in our edit room." She said that would be ok, and I thanked God and left, gavel in hand.

The shot we need to get tomorrow, is a 3 second shot of a hand taking a gavel out of the box, the idea is to show how Teamsters carry everything across the country, the gavel came from DC and is now in Vegas. It's an interesting metaphor, we have a google earth map zooming into Vegas, the Paris Hotel, (by the way, it's really crazy to see an Eiffel Tower on a satellite image) then we insert this 3 second shot of the gavel.

I told the segment producer Jeffrey, a self-described, obsessive neurotic Jew from NY, I think we should just show the gavel being struck on the Teamster striking block-instead. I don't think anyone is going to get this story of a gavel coming across the country in 3 seconds, so I will be shooting that tomorrow as well, when the Executive Producer looks at this gavel coming out of a box shot and wonders where the "pay off" is. I know Jeffrey wants us to see the gavel in real time-on stage and then that will be the pay off, I just think it's a lame idea.

Did I mention that this is all scored to Survior's EYE OF THE TIGER? Oddly enough, this Google Earth map treatment and a gavel looking like a hammer, reminds me of Pink Floyd's movie of THE WALL.

So this is what my creative arts are channeling these days.
I applied for a job as a field producer on my favorite show today. I hope I at least get an interview.

hoffa and celeb-reality

Currently I'm cutting some "celebrity greetings" for the teamster convention with Hilmer, our editor. We are having fun pairing up these sound bites shot remotely from celebrities like Jack Nicholson, John Travolta and Tom Hanks, with sound bites from teamsters. the most fun part is finding music to underscore the whole thing, like Johnny Cash "I Won't Back Down" and Neil Young "Union Man."

The hard part is weaving sometimes, seemingly disembodied celebrity comments, with what the teamsters are saying. I think Ving Rhames had the most heartfelt salute out of the lot. Where as every teamsters is coming from a place that's very real. They're saying cool things about their lives and their struggles to be treated fairly and how they are proud to be a teamster, a part of something that is fighting for them, the convention theme is "moving forward together." The celebrities are just wishing the IBT Happy 100th!

I'm getting with this brotherhood/sisterhood thing. Some guy called me sister and Hilmer, brother the other day.

Holy Mama of Distraction

Ok, so I saw my first (ever) showgirl today. Live and in person. She wasn't on a stage in a chorus line with other showgirls, kicking her legs up and dancing with big fans, she was walking toward me down a very long hallway. It was a showgirl-out-of-context moment and what happened has led me to this blog.

I was distracted, excited and of course curious why she was even in this part of the very large building where I am working. Apparently she was walking toward a door to a back path to her stage, the levels of seedy underbelly back alleys in this town is mind boggling. As she approached me, i could not help to smile and even blush. She was wearing a big pink headress, a sequin bikini type top and a pink sequin wrap, in pink heels.

It was not so much the fact that she was so boldly scantily clad, or was it the way she was wrapped up? No, it had to be the height, between the headress and the heels-easily 7 feet! Maybe, it was just that she was in this totally mundane setting, a hallway, with dim lighting and beige carpeting. She was like a totally constructed dessert, like the kind you see on the Food Network, that chefs compete and use blow tourches to construct, she was artful and glamorus, and so not like me.

I remember reading somewhere when I was in college taking a women's study class, that women watching porn will watch themselves on the screen. I never agreed with that, I guess because I'm a Dyke. the whole mirror stage and Lacan, I don't even want to really go here, but I did experience a difference, a rupture if you are thinking of Jacques Lacan. There was a seperation in my gaze, but it also went into a place of desire. I did not want to grab the showgirl, it was her image, the power of her image--again, completely out of context, that had transfixed me. She was untouchable, like a rare species of exotic bird that I had just "happened upon."

It was this untouchable aspect even in a hallway, or shall I say--especially in a hallway, that resonated something majestic. Something unattainable and fleeting, what this city thrives upon.

children

According to the BBC, a number of European nations may start offering free fertility treatment. Fertility rates are dropping, and Europe is afraid there will be too small a workforce to care for its pensioners in the near future. The proposed answer is for Europeans to have more babies.

Here's one reason why this is stupid:

A shrinking workforce and growing elderly population is a public policy problem. It can be solved with policies, for example: cut pension payments, or raise retirement ages, or increase legal immigration of working age singles, or decrease other social spending to make up the gap, or increase a tax to make up the gap, or better socialize global pharamceutical companies to decrease costs, or change land and property tax policies on nursing homes to cut costs there... and that's just off the top of my head.

There are enough working people in the world to support all the elderly and then some. Though the economy is global, political boundaries persist. Why not open the borders if you need more people?

I suspect those promoting free fertility treatment are racist.

(With Jac in Las Vegas, i have no one to vent to when i'm listening to the BBC on the radio.)

privee

There is NO private space in Las Vegas and certainly not in the Paris Hotel...even when you are in the hotel public bathroom you are listening to "canned" froggy themed thoughts...
Noise is a constant in Vegas in general, and if you've retreated from the din of the casino (which by the way, all sound the same no matter what casino you find yourself-in whatever city) to squat, and have a moment of privacy while you release your bladder and or bowels. That is when you will hear a French female accent instructing you on how to speak French phrases like: "Would you hold this for good luck" or "My what a big bagette!"

The City of Loss Wages

Well, I arrived last night into the simulacra of Paris. The Paris Hotel in Vegas is not quite as glittering as I thought it would be, remember kids, I went to Disney World upwards of 35 times when I lived in Florida, so my eye is keen on spotting what I like to call "simulation drop out."
People raved about the ceiling being painted a lovely sky blue with clouds, this trompe l'oeil usually impresses me, so I thought I would like it. Instead, I saw the edges, I saw the con, it didn't "fool my eye" at all, my eye is too discriminating.

Maybe it's this damn cold that I have, keeping it real for me, I can't sink into glazed over stares, the cold medicine won't let me.
It sucks to have to walk thru the casino to get to where I have to work. The cross-section of America represented here is exactly why my girlfriend won't join me in Vegas while I'm on this 2 week stint. Everyone is holding drinks in their hands, from beers to huge exotic foamy eiffel tower shaped cups. Everyone is smoking, you smell if you walk thru even for minute. Everyone is spending, and there are ATM machines that give out cash in hundreds- they make it easy on you to spend it. I asked a clerk if they had change for $100 and they look at you like duh, of course I do.

Crazy..at least there is a raw food place for me to eat at....

global warming

i saw the global warming movie yesterday, "An Inconvenient Truth." At its worst, it reminded me of the apocalyptic films from the early 1980s that insane born again christian youth group leaders would show to children, preferably after keeping them awake until late and feeding them chocolate. Those movies - the end-of-time rapture movies and An Inconvenient Truth - made it seem like there was no way you could ignore the issue, at the very least you had to change all your behavior starting right now and - at least! - tell everyone you know to change their behavior. But that won't stop what's coming. You also have to live your life proactively preparing your fellow man for what's to come. Even then, it's unlikely you'll have any effect. In the end all will be hellish and many will suffer. your efforts will be like drops of water in lake michigan. but *at least* you'll know you did your best. you can't just sit back with this information and continue like you have your whole life - - - thinking about what to cook, checking out your hair in the mirror. you have to do something right now, all the time. When the Son of Man returns to earth in judgemental fury and asks you why the polar bears all drowned because they ran out of ice to hang on to, He's not going to turn to you and say, "Nice hair." He's going to be all pissed off. Which is how you should be all the time, and right now.

Thanks a f*cking lot, Al Gore.

mirrored vanities with bulbs and Jacque

Actually Alexis, I don't like working in a dressing room. I find myself staring at myself all the time, which really sucks when you are working on a laptop or eating (doing both together in a mirror really sucks). And i must say, I'm a person who is less inclined to check and re-check one's self out in these damn things. I avoid mirrors like vampires avoid mirrors. It's not that I hate how I look, I hate the process of looking at myself in a mirror. I mean who IS that chick, and WHO the HELL does SHE think she IS???

Mirror gazing is like a critical analysis of your life which is also distracting. I think I conceived a stress zit while working in front of this bulbed vanity crap! Hilmer the editor said he would edit it out of my mirror frame, but now I just want lip stick to start writing on all of these feckin' (Irish plays, I can't help me self) mirrors!

I confess I walked flat into a mirror wall today. I saw myself coming and kept walking-I guess I thought: "hey I know her!"

I feel like I'm in the fun house mirror room and I have to get out to pee.

Mirror walls are like instant messaging, think about it.

A List of Dreams

I just ate a piece of Dove dark chocolate. The inside of the foil wrapper said, “Make a List of Your Dreams”. Here goes:


I’m on the third or fourth floor of a building and a tidal wave is coming in right at eye level. I have to save the turtles.

I have to teach a class about something very technical and, amazingly, I know all about it.

The city is dark and smoky and people are walking on all fours like apes. They can’t read, and they like ketchup.

I’m Buffy, but I’m not really Buffy, but Buffy is there and she’s in a class at SIPA.

I’m in a split level house and something is very scary in the closet upstairs.

There’s this cheerleader ... She’s interactive.



That’s about it. If anyone reads this and would like to Make a List of Your Dreams, please do so in the comments. I’d like to read them.

Learning from Past Summers

I was looking through my email inbox for something, and I came across an email chain between me and Jim. I had just gotten back from the Jersey Shore. I’d been telling him about how awful it was, and he found it on google maps.



-----Original Message-----
From: Jim
Sent: Thursday, August 11, 2005 12:58 PM
To: Alexis
Subject: Awful!


Jim: Just north of Seaside Heights, NJ. Eeek!
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=point+pleasant,+nj&ll=39.991391,-74.061713&spn=0.007579,0.021458&t=h&om=1


Me: That's EXACTLY the place I was talking about last night. It's even worse on the ground - - hot, unfriendly, everyone is white and republican. It's the most outwardly exclusive and racist place I've ever been to in America. F*ckin Jersey.


Jim: Wow. What amazing powers of clairvoyance I have! Hee hee!
Strange configuration - staggering the houses like that. Also, is that concrete I'm seeing surrounding the houses? Like it looks like just one huge field of concrete upon which homogeneous dwellings are placed.
Effing weird.


Me: It's sandy concrete and pale beige and pink pebbles for the driveways and "gardens", which are little pebble moats around the houses.


Jim: [sound of me hurling]

75% Marshmallow, 25% Banana Candy...

I like the idea of listing ingredients.

The office i work in is presently comprised of 60% public relations, 20% taxes, 10% art supplies and 10% steakums.

My apartment consists of avocado, smoke, and mirrors, with a pinch of blue.

Jac is made of peanuts, soy, and other kinds of soy.

and so on.

you have this sickness called media

Let me examine you.
There seems to be a general numbness, when did it start?
And you noticed it when the wireless went down.
Turn your head and cough for me.
Have you been taking your lap top in bed with you? Okay. So, you are having trouble concentrating on one thought for more than a minute. Go ahaed take the incoming call, I know you need to speak with your mother, you have been avioding her for weeks! Focus! Does it hurt when I do this? Is that your PDA chirping about some incoming text message, yeah go ahead and view it , I'll wait.....

What about when I do this, any discomort or tingling sensation? Yes, you can tivo Runway Moms while I write this perscription.

Can you read this eye chart for me?

R E A D N E I L P O S T M A N' S B O O K

amusingourselvestodeath

JG Wigglestodtt's

There comes a time in everyone's life when they have take stock. I am seriously considering a new venture. My vision is to furnish provisions for weary vegans and nearly-vegans, what they crave and do not know they crave, at dawn of every new day.
On the store front window it will one day read:
JG Wigglestodtt's
Home of Fine Soy Cheeses
Purveyor of Fake Meats
Soy Milks from the Far East Village

And Yes, Alexis, there WILL be a "butcher"!

Diary of Coincidences and Strange Occurances

On Thursday, Jac took me to see "Well," a play about an old woman who is perpetually sick, constantly interrupts, uses a 'grabber', belittles her daughter in public, charms her daughter's friends, and so on. Jac happened to get free tickets to this show.

On Friday, I flew to visit my mother, who is perpetually sick, constantly interrupts, uses a 'grabber', belittles me in public, and charms my friends.

At the rental car counter at the airport i was told my car had been upgraded at no extra cost. I thought that was neat, until i saw what they'd given me: a beige PT Cruiser, a plastic death machine with blindspots instead of windows and the momentum of a state legislature. This was my first indication that things would not go as i expected.

I drove the POS to mom's house and no one was home. I waited for her for half an hour. She knew when i was arriving, but she was busy running errands. I assumed she would drag her body in the door and then tell me to get a dozen crinkly plastic bags of sale items from her car. But when she got home, she bounced in the door with a couple bags of groceries, all lettuce and sushi. She looked great.

My sister, her husband and son showed up much later. My sister's husband and my mother have a terrible relationship. She thinks he's a low class stupid person who's bad for my sister, and he thinks she's a phony stupid person who's bad for my sister. I expected my sister would minimize the mom time, practically leave the car running, and rush back to the hotel (she loves hotels). Instead, the whole family came inside and had a nice visit before cruising over the hotel.

On Saturday my sister went alone to visit a friend in prison. She'd never been to that part of Florida and never visited a prison. My sister is a creature of habit who has to lie down if Kraft changes the packaging on Mac-N-Cheese. She can't read a map, and she doesn't plan ahead. But she did it. She drove down there and suffered the whole process and actually got in to see her friend, even though there were many discouraging steps along the way. Mom said she was proud of her, but not in an over-the-top embarrasing way that is actually belittling. She just kind of muttered it to herself. When my sister came back, we opened a bottle of champagne, and she gave the toast, "To sweet, sweet freedom."

The next day was spent giving a desk to my sister. This is a big deal because my mother has a large house full of furniture and piles of garbage, and she always says she wants to get rid of all the clutter and sell the house. She's never done anything to indicate she actually feels this way. But on Saturday, she cleaned off a desk and we loaded it onto a trailer. Even more surprisinly, my mother gave up her deep freezer, still empty since the last hurricaine. I distracted my nephew the whole time, making up games like "throw the purple poodle while making clicking sounds". Sunday night, when my sister's family was gone, I watched part of a movie with mom. She didn't interrupt, she didn't get stoned and stupid, and she didn't mind when halfway through i told her i wanted to go.

The next day it was just me and mom. She didn't shut up the whole time. It drove me nuts. She reminisced about my childhood giving a totally inaccurate, self-centered account designed to make her look good. She embarrased me in public. A giant cockroach limped out into the living room to remind me why i don't sleep there. Mom nearly made me late for my flight and told me i was overreacting to everything. As soon as I got back to Manhattan i bought a can of bud and drank it on the street - - sweet, sweet freedom.

the view is some crazy wacky shit

Today is" Day One" at the TONY'S offices located in a hotel called FLATOTEL, on 52nd street between 6th and Broadway, close to Radio City. Looking out 45 stories up. I have to say, this is the best editing situation ever, we put the AVID by the windows- but it's all view really, and the AVID looks like a flying machine now more than ever.
There is also a balcony. EVERYONE who has been in here today, has pleaded with me not to swan dive off of it--when the shit hits the fan, yelling "SO LONG SUCKERS!" and flipping off people as a last look.
No death wish here, I told them, I'd rather BBQ tofu dogs on the balcony- let's see if I can pull that one off.

But seriously folks, working with White Cherry has been all about the view so far, I have had windows- lots of them, that shit is important- especially if you live in NYC and haven't had the privilege of a room with a view...that reminds me:

My friend Sally, an artist, from Madrid, has this video about people who worked at WTC who shared stories about the view out of their office windows. She had problems getting it screened in NYC because she had interviews with two guys who died on 9/11 from WINDOWS ON THE WORLD- they were kitchen staff, with a great view, they were happy and proud of their view in the video, and were the only ones who really appreciated her asking them about it.

tomorrow, tomorrow

Tomorrow I will be performing an exorcism.

Whiter teeth and a brighter future

Dear America,
Do you suffer from low energy? When someone asks you how you are feeling, do you respond "fine" even though you have a hang nail and stayed up late smoking too many cigs, tossin' back cheap whiskey and rollin' stogies on your mexican lady's thigh?

Do you smile on cue?

Here's the fix- if you want that promotion....teeth whitening, in a box, now, GO...get thee to the corner drug store, and drop 30 bucks! GO FOR THE GOLD cadillac of teeth whiteners...it will be a brighter 2 weeks in your otherwise, seemingly, low watt existence.

Who will host the Tony's?

Today I asked the almighty google what butch male actors had the skeleton known as high school musical theater in their backgrounds...knowing that Oprah said no to hosting the Tony's, I sense the director is asking for this research for an opening number bit to then reveal the host- still top secret.
I came up with tough guys like Wesley Snipes, Brad Pitt and Edward Norton. Ok posters, now's your chance to "weigh in" on what is called: "John Travolta types" -dudes that don't look like they dance.
PS_ I already know that Matt Damon did Pippin.

i'm just not that threatening

I counted cars again today. This time i stood at the foot of the Manhattan Bridge. It's a major truck thoroughfare, and i got hooted and hollared at by truckers. I felt so suspicious standing there, facing traffic, with my clipboard and backpack and little counters from Staples. The counters hang from my wrists by rubber bands, the way the pen hangs from the clipboard by a shoelace. I've got the hookup.

I'm standing there thinking some cop is going to come over and ask me what i'm doing. I'll say i'm counting cars, "See - there's my clipboard!". He'll ask me to put my hands up. When i do, he'll see the shiny metal things hanging from them. I'm thinking about Amadou Diallo, wondering if cops are still as trigger happy as they were under Giuliani. As i'm thinking this, a guy leans out of a commercial van and makes kissing sounds at me.

My next observation point was at the corner of Sara D. Roosevelt Park, watching the traffic come off the bridge in another direction. I had my back to a sunken ballfield full of Chinese senior citizens doing tai chi. I overheard the following conversation:

Hipster chick: Hey neighbor! You're up early.
Hipster guy: What up girl. It's the crack of dawn.
Hipster chick, looking at me: Something is up in this city today, right?
Hipster guy: Yeah, somethin is up. It don't feel right.

Apparently i am a sign of doom.

I returned to my paranoia about getting questioned by police. I ran through a list in my head of different types of identification i had on me - - which ones were more legitimate, and which were easier to get. My work ID could be a fake, but it's in my front pocket and it's got a big American flag on it... just as i'm thinking this, an NYPD truck starts back up right onto where i'm standing. I moved; it took my spot. Two cops sat in the front, drinking coffee and blocking pedestrian traffic, and one cop got out and started pulling over trucks. I guess they were doing random searches. I stood right next to the cop van and kept counting. I felt like I had a police escort for the rest of the morning.

** Fact: "New York's Boldest" refers to NYC Corrections Officers, just as the police are "New York's Finest", the sanitation workers are "New York's Strongest" and the firemen are, i suppose, "New York's Best Looking." No wait, they're "Bravest."

bomb sniffing dog

Back in NY and back out on the street hustling for a gig with more $ per week. On the way to a job interview with Lion TV, I was riding the subway and there was a bomb sniffing dog in the car hanging out next to me. He seemed very friendly despite the obvious pressures of his work. He let me pet him, even though he was on duty, working on a noisy, moving subway with smelly people that he could lean over and smell-with full respect from everyone. People were asking the handler if they could pet him and then they would thank him for the work he was doing, and say while petting him: "what a great job you are doing, GOOD BOY!"

When I got to the interview, the woman who interviewed me asked about which subjects interested me more as a producer: the history of the SUV, the history of the Skyscaper or the history of the bomb.
I thought the history of the skyscraper would be cool, cause the history of the bomb seems so general, I mean -what bomb? Or, what kind of bomb... never say bomb on a plane...These thoughts ran thru my mind, along with images of the bomb sniffing dog.
I wonder if the bomb sniffing dog knows the history of the bomb sniffing dog?
That show is interesting to me as a producer. Maybe I will just do the Tonys.

Eddie Burrows

jac and i saw Eddie Burrows in the community garden this afternoon. He was sitting looking the same as usual, with a white ace bandage around one leg and dirty toes poking out. He has a few teeth but not many ... there's usually something hanging around his mouth. He's old. little tufts of white hair sprout from his head and chin. He was wearing a large pearl necklace. When we walked in, he was trying to peel and eat a hard boiled egg. This is what Jac calls "abject" using the film school sense of the word.

Eddie and jac reminisced for a while, and i looked at the giant peonies. Eddie had faced himself toward his sculpture, now 25 years old. He told us about the toy horses on it, and how they're impossible to saw through but oddly vulnerable to wind and sun. He said that when he was pulling down his original tower sculpture (must have been the 1980s) he wanted it to fall on him. It did fall on him and it didn't hurt him.

A few quotables from Eddie today:

No woman is ugly. Besides, when you're kissing a woman you're not looking at her face.

Drinking too much is like walking across a bridge. You walk and walk and then at some point, there's just no bridge. You black out.

Someone climbed up my sculpture once and left a beer bottle up there. I knew who it was, another guy from the garden. He and his wife had a plot. I told him not to do that and he just said 'why', and 'there's no gate.' So i came into the garden at night and ripped up his plot. I turned over all his plants, upside down. I liked that, and it taught him a lesson.


* Jac's glad to be back home in new york.

tapes

As I go to sleep after the DTE party, I have a pile of tapes in the corner of my hotel room that comprise of the entire telecast...how will this effect my dreams I wonder...

backstage in the green room

...it was very surreal, I watched the entire show stage right in the green room for the DTE and got to congratulate Ellen on winning and Rosie on THE VIEW, what an interesting scene that was- a mixture of tv power brass and daytime stars. Judge Judy was actually nice. Kate Welsh of Grey's Anatomy was hanging out waiting to present the drama award, we were all hanging out in thsi room with giant couches and a bar with a huge tv screen. The show went really well!

Meanwhile on the other side of the continent....

In LA, a producer: watches down all packages produced for the Daytime Emmy Awards, talks with soap stars, gets calls from LIVE! WITH REGIS & KELLY (while trying on a $560 black jacket that makes her look like Janet Jackson) about confirming that the Talk Show Host award presenters will accept award for R&K in the event they win-as "no shows."

Our heroine, the same producer is then driven by Robin Dorian and listens to the "Robin Dorian" tour of LA, eats vegan sushi for the 5th time this week, ends up buying only a GIANT ROBOT tee shirt for 21 bucks, has fun then feels guilty about ducking out of the dress rehearsal to play with Robin Dorian; later drinks a beer, takes a nap, and even later that evening will hang out backstage to meet ellen.

e-zpass, no e-zpass

the last two mornings i've gotten up at sunrise and gone to count cars. Each time i click the counter on my left hand, that's a guy with ezpass; the right hand is no ezpass. You stand in one place for 5 consecutive 10 minute counts, one for each vehicle classification. The first day, I stood on York between 59th and 60th. I saw a fancy old woman with too much makeup and a hideous phone thing stuck on her ear. Who the hell talked her in to that thing? She stepped into a cab and I thought, “you asshole. I bet you’re an asshole.” Across from me, near the entrance to the Queensboro Bridge, a bunch of guys were doing construction. Right during rush hour, they’ve got huge vehicles tying up a lane at a time, doing 3 point turns and making a racket. If I turned my head the other way, I saw so many solitary old men with cardigans and dogs, I felt like I was in London. My second observation point that morning was 2nd avenue between 57th and 58th. That’s where all the commercial vans drive, and it put me in a really good mood. Also, it was freezing - - surprisingly cold, and I hadn’t brought gloves. My hands were becoming dysfunctionally cold even in my big coat pockets. But I could see across the street, the whole time I’m doing the counts on 2nd avenue, a diner. As soon as I was done, I walked in, saw a little metal table by the door that was shiny because it was getting direct, sharp sun. I sat at the hot table and ate oatmeal and drank green tea. Fucking awesome. The next day I did the counts on the Brooklyn Bridge. I did two shifts at the same observation point, peak and offpeak hours. There was very little change in the traffic between peak and offpeak, but the people walking across the bridge changed from municipal employees to uncomfortable pairs of tourists. Nice day for it though. Also, I got to go have coffee with beth between shifts and hear the story about the poodle and the corn chip.

this one time in celebration, florida

it's raining, i'll tell an old story.

a few years ago i went to Celebration, Florida, the town built by Disney. It's a new urbanist style town, with front porches on the houses, a pedestrian-friendly main street, functional alleys and legalized accessory dwelling units... everything, seen and unseen, that's supposed to make a place less sprawl-y and more hometown-y. I went there with my sister and 3-year old nephew because we wanted to see it. Gabi wanted to eat in the 50's style diner. Little Alex was happy just to go for a drive in Gabi's giant SUV.

It was a bright and clear 75 degree day. We tooled the mama truck through Celebration, looking at the lamposts and white picket fences. Lovely place. Children were playing on scooters, older people were walking and talking in golf outfits. There were environmentally sound smart cars scattered throughout town, making it look slightly futuristic even though the architecture was so old fashioned.

We located the diner, then parked in the municipal lot just outside the sparkling town. As we were unloading Alex from the truck some boys drove by on Huffy bikes. They had fishing poles and tackle boxes fixed to the backs of their bikes. They were wearing helmets and elbow pads and knee pads, as is the fashion these days (when i rode my pink huffy in florida as a kid, i wore a bathing suit and no shoes at all). They started to ride on by us, then stopped, as a gang. One little boy pulled off his helmet, revealing a sparkling blonde head. The gang focused just past us, a few car spaces away.

Alex noticed it first. "Birdies!" he said.

There were vultures, black and evil and totally unmoved by our presence, devouring some piece of flesh on the ground. It might have been a raccoon or a possum, something large-ish and once furry. The two vultures picked and pulled, and another landed nearby and hopped over in that unsettling way they have. The bicycle boys were fully engaged. Without losing their silent focus on the goryness, they pulled off their helmets, their knee pads, their elbow pads, their wrist guards, and they grabbed their fishing poles. They walked right past us, leaving a trail of protective gear behind them. Gabi held Alex to her; he would have loved to have joined the gang. The boys went right over the vultures and started poking at them.

We walked into town away from the scene. Soft jazz was piped through the sidewalk planters, so that even outside the sensation was calming and mall-like. Old men buzzed by in their smart cars. We found the diner easily, on main street down near the fake lake. Gabi ordered pancakes and Alex proceeded to be the worst behaved child possible. He threw food, he rolled around on the floor, he shrieked, he bothered strangers. We were so proud of him. We walked back in the sun rather quickly, back to the big truck, back to the scene, Alex howling all the way, the loudest thing ever to come to Main Street. The vultures and the boys were gone of course and only tiny fragments of carcass remained.

magical sunday afternoon

we spent the weekend volunteering at the first (ever?) queer media conference. the event was sponsored by Stoli, who doesn't seem to realize that sponsoring these events won't make gay people stop ordering "vodka tonics" just like that, no brand name.

Anyway.

During the morning rush as conference goers were picking up their tickets and VIPs were were poking through their loot bags, i saw an older man standing in the narrowest part of the hallway. He was nearly blocking people from moving between the lounge and the registration area. He had a pet carrying case with birds in it. I asked, all smiles (all smiles all weekend) what was up. He had a very thick accent and seemed confused but poised. He told me he wanted to talk to someone named Dax and that he needed a dressing room. I suggested the coat closet, thinking he could put all this stuff in there. He quietly said no, then "dahling i don't perform like dis" hands swooping over his old man face "i perform like dis." whips out a postcard with a picture of my mother wearing a giant gray wig. I understood, and secured a rarely used bathroom upstairs.

I decided that my job for the day was to be this drag queen's 'body man', like Charlie, the black kid on the West Wing.

I put a Keep Out sign on her door.

I offered her a cocktail:

Me: "all we have is Stoli."
Her, half made up in a big pink robe and turban: "Vat's dis shtoli?"
Me: "it's vodka"
Her, suddenly a completely normal gay man: "I'll have a vodka cranberry."

I checked up on her periodically, at one point zipping up her dress (hairy back). She confided in me that she's 65 years old. "No zo bad for an old lady, eh?" she said, now that she was completely covered in rhinestones and pancake makeup. I told her she looked better than my mother, but similar. she liked that.

I made sure her CD was playing during her grand entrance down the stairs and into the lounge. "get a glass of coke" she whispered to me, then started the show.

It was a magic show. I stood there holding a coke, watching her mangle doves and make things disappear. she was wordless, silent, but the crowd was rapt with attention as she glided about with a dove perched on each breast. Finally she motioned for the coke, which she made disappear into a copy of the village voice. When it reappeared - really amazingly - i assumed it had been spiked with rum.

she finished to strong applause. one of the birds shat right on the floor. i took off.

Podcasting Ken Anger

While attending the Q-con, queer media conference, a smashing success by the way, I noticed that less queers are into making porn. Only one older gentleman gave me his dvd calling card with porn that he has on his video blog. "What's happening to the queer porn scene?" I asked my friend Barbara, venturing into producing porn. What if the next queer channel was queer porn?

Cable TV?-NO!
LOGO censors theatrically relased "R" rated films, it has to be video on demand, podcasting, videoblogs,dvd, it's the boom of "new media", more access and smaller screens. Porn can't ever just be there waiting for you in HD digital cable, waiting for you to channel surf to it, accidentally landing on a porn commercial selling -let's imagine-clit enhancers and chocolate covered dildos...
Porn maybe best left for the individual to program-still.

it's time for the little mexican snoring monster to leave

i send her home with an 8 ball in her pocket, a wiggle in her walk, and a brand new case of gonorrhea.




OK! Just kidding. the dog does not have a sexual disease or a drug habit. geez.

Notes while multiplexing and burning for 10 mins.

Yo, Amanda meet me at the beer garden!!
Did you know that Killian's is made by COORS??
I was a foolish undergrad at the University of FLA- GO GATORS!!
and I never read the label, I peeled 'em, but I never read 'em!

Today I worked through lunch and promised myself that I'd have a "nice" dinner, soon I will work through dinner.
6 minutes left on the burn
6 minutes left to burn
I got a call today, it's PASSOVER, from a co-worker telling me that she "really" appreciates me.
Because she is Jewish, I instantly thought she was telling me this due to some sort of religious obligation, but now I am accepting her appreciation.

DVD burned out to executive producers- they still don't like it, fight with producer to make change in the cut, she refuses, I tell her to hold to speak with the exec prods- new cut will be coming soon, then go down the hall to tell editor about the change in the cut, and he's making out with his girlfriend, so I turn aound and come back to my desk...
This business really makes you appreciate time.

small furry houseguest

I am dogsitting an elderly chihuahua. She is possibly the worst, most troublesome creature alive. Never have i been so stressed by an obligation. I should have never agreed to this. It's just one hassle after another. Some examples of the creature's tedious behavior:

She snores like a wildebeast.

She taunts me, lying on her back and gesturing towards the kitchen with her little paws. She knows i'm not allowed to eat her.

She can't jump up on the bed, but she obviously wants to be there. Instead of asking me to pick her up, she just sits quietly. Passive agressive much?

She hogs the remote. And she likes mysteries.

She wakes up in them middle of the night with a "genius idea", turns on all the lights and insists on writing for half an hour. The next morning, she realizes her genius idea is just bunk.

She leaves Christian pamphlets all over the apartment thinking i'll see one and change my ways. She judges me with her giant eyes.

She's hopelessly morose, and can't bear a good mood. If i dare hum or smile she sniffs loudly and leaves the room. She also marked up my copy of Thus Spoke Zarathustra.

She keeps saying she's quitting, but really she just doesn't buy her own cigarettes any more.




Ok, just kidding, the chihuahua is perfect, easiest houseguest possible. I walk her on the roof with a roll of toilet paper, she eats once per day, and she's generally either content or actively happy.

sarah silverman said something really funny on npr

Sarah Silverman was told a story about Tom Delay. Apprently Tom Delay once caught a fly in his hand. He saw the fly, perked up his ears, narrowed his eyes, reached out and grabbed it right in his hand. He threw it on the floor and stomped on it. he said, that's going to be the democrats next.
Sarah said, the democrats are going to fly?

confessions of a vegan foodie

I brought homemade french fries to work today and EVERYONE was jealous!
People started telling me that they want to be vegan if it means eating french fries for breakfast.
I found this interesting. How are people used to eating french fries? Only with burgers, or cooked in animal fat?
My french fries were mostly baked on a baking sheet with olive oil and sea salt (until my girlfriend got tired of cooking and threw the rest of the cut potatoes into a wok with olive oil. I liked the baked better- they taste like a baked potato.

Anyway, what further upset my co-workers was that I was eating the french fries sans mucho ketchup with chopsticks.
This confused everyone completely. I was even called: "exotic" at one point.

With Passover on the horizon, we ventured into Matzo ball soup conversation. It was suggested to me to make a polenta ball soup- matzo is stuck together with eggs.
I'd probably like polenta ball soup, my girlfriend would hate it, but what do I know, I'm just a goy!?!

ah, conferences

it's conference season. there are conferences in every hotel and auditorium. slick foamboard signs are propped up in lobbies across the city - across the country! - telling people to Think Toward the Future. Hastily printed pieces of white paper are taped up all down the halls, telling people in 40 point font to go to room 9A for session C at 2:15. and the little conferences are so cute! 30 people here to talk about green roofs, 50 people there trying to Reach Your Target Audience. The lenders bagels will be barely defrosted by the time 100 more civic minded tote bag holders will schlep up the stairs at yet another smallish college and politely stick cold butter on them. And - just confirmed - in August i'll speaking at in room MB 253 of the Banff Centre in the Canadian Rockies.

Will we all be mightily punished one day for our lack of work?

Will we be expected to make up our debt to society by actually producing something or helping someone?

Who cares. Nutribreak at 3:20, with bagels.

griping due to lack of creativity

academic papers that try to be cute and informal.

notices with empty promises of reductions in my student loans.

spending half the day deciphering acronyms.

urban planners, especially europeans, who write sentences like this, "city regions as systems within systems of city regions."

flowers on tissue boxes.

random photographs of people on websites (check out the blonde and ask yourself why: http://att.sbc.com/gen/public-affairs?pid=2508)

scatterbrained

i just agreed to co-write an article for new york magazine on transportation infrastructure.

this morning, i set up a meeting for my boss to ask for money for the next gazillion years of me "working on housing". (?)

yesterday, i asked jac to help me break in to sound editing.

but i just want to lie in bed and listen to the radio.

word to the nana

those who are not competent to navigate the world should stay home. example: if you don't know how to find a train schedule and you have to ask someone else to "look it up" for you, then you shouldn't get on the train.

never take the futon cover off. Next time, it's bye bye futon.

if everyone suddenly changes their plans and it makes your life easier, just say thank you. don't negotiate anything.

a study came out recently showing that if heart disease patients know they're being prayed for, they don't fare as well. they get sicker. so don't "let go and let god". take control and fix your shit.

and let's give a shout out to people who don't take things personally. they are the true adults. the rest of us are children who still believe the world owes us something, and spins on our behalf.

my girlfriend is so cool

but if i tell her she will get mad
My girlfriend is hot
But if i tell her she will scrunch her face into an ugly face
My girlfriend is intelligent
if i tell her, she will agree with me!
I love her.

just say no

Listen to Nancy Reagan. She was so thin, she must be right.

Just say no when your friends tell you to get another drink, after you've had 2 and you're feeling just fine. Say no to relatives most of the time. Say no free trials and strangers who knock on your door. Say no to tourists who ask you for directions if you don't know the answer. Don't squint and look around and say, i'm sorry, i'm not sure, something you didn't ask about is over that way. Just say no. Saves everybody a bit of hassle.

learned today

There's a set of train tracks called the West Shore line. It's owned by CSX. It's how freight is moved across the Hudson - -it travels up the West Shore line almost to Albany and then crosses the river. It's a very busy freight line.

People have been calling for commuter rail on at least part of the West Shore line for decades. It could carry people through eastern Bergen and Rockland counties up and down the Hudson. Actually, it used to be used for that. Originally, passengers rode the West Shore line down the west side of the Hudson to a ferry that dropped them off at 42nd Street. That service was discontinued in 1959.

CSX has the rights to run freight on the line. CSX insists that passenger trains should be on separate tracks. No agency has any funding or inclination to build those separate tracks.

MTA won't do it because it involves New Jersey. MTA wants a commuter rail line across that would take passenger from Rockland - but not Bergen - into midtwon. They're looking at stupid ideas like putting commuter rail over the Tappan Zee bridge.

There's another set of tracks called the Northern Branch. It goes through the same area but further east, and it's only in Bergen County, not Rockland. There's some chance that passenger rail could run on the Northern Branch, because it doesn't involve New Jersey.

I guess the lesson for me is that i need to stop being one of these shortsighted snobs who ignores New Jersey. Or i need to get out of the "where should the train go" business.

Also, i probably need to use this space for something other than taking notes.

i just got invited...

... to witness a series of enormous municipal bonds get sold, probably at bear stearns. this will mean putting on a proper outfit and going to midtown, or maybe downtown. the man who invited me did so in the context of the boston marathon. He is an old man, and he first ran the boston marathon in 1967 when he was in law school. now, after running it so many times, he seeks out first timers. He enjoys their fresh perspective, he likes to answer their questions and reflect on how it used to be. and he has identified me as someone to live vicariously through on the trading floor - like a virgin, issuing debt for the very first time.

the best part of 40 so far

this morning my sexy girlfriend woke me up praising my "40 year-old" boobs.
Now that's living...

Happy Birthday to Jac!

you only turn 40 once, people.

famous people

there are people in new york city who act famous, even though they're not. They wear all one color. they seem irritated by normal inconveniences. they have entourages instead of friends. nyc attracts these people and cultivates them. walk around like a rock star. it's ok, it's new york, you won't get mobbed.

underlying assumption

the surprise underlying assumption to the thought experiment on overpopulation is this: The Enemy Always Has More Babies.

but i just don't feel like going into the whole why thing.

St. Patrick's Day

This is a cut-and-paste from an email from Jeff.

John Dunleavy, the head of the NYC St. Patrick's Day Parade, said of the controversy surrounding the refusal to let gay groups march under their own banner:

"Allowing them in would take away from the whole spirit of the parade" adding, "If an Israeli group wants to march in New York, do you allow neo-Nazis into their parade? If African-Americans are marching in Harlem, do they have to let the Ku Klux Klan into their parade?"..."People have rights," ... "If we let the [Irish Lesbian and Gay Organization] in, is it the Irish Prostitute Association next?"

Uhm. Yea. Here's the thing. Uhh. Okay...

Nazis -- imprisoned and killed Jews, with neo-Nazis carrying the anti- Semitic torch

KKK -- lynched, killed, and vehemently opposed blacks, with modern members continuing to support an environment encouraging white supremacy

Gays -- Other than a shot of Bushmills or a pint of green beer, gays as a whole have not killed anything Irish. They simply want to march in support of the parade, not against.

http://www.goodasyou.org/good_as_you/2006/03/paddys_parade_h.html

thought experiment

first, think about overpopulation for one second. assume it's a problem that there are too many people. then ask yourself these questions, and try to answer them, in order:

Why is it a problem that there are too many babies?

(answer)

So if there are going to be fewer babies, which ones do you want? Who should have fewer, who can keep having some?

(answer)

When is it good to grow?

(answer)


Look for the surprise Underlying Assumption next week!

Emote

This is a mission statement from the emotional one of this duo:
Never underestimate the power of love
Believe in yourself
Express everything-good, bad and ugly
Dream big
Give-just give
Breathe deep

participation

i know a few people who are right now doing exactly what they love to do. and they are doing it most of the time. here's to paying attention all day long, growing instead of shrinking.

trader joe's is opening in union square soon

and i am boring myself to tears even as i think about it.

"family" feud

idea for the game show network: survey 100 or 200 people in a specific demographic, say new york city residents between the ages of 21 and 35 who are queer and were found at a gay bar south of 23rd street on a given friday night. Ask them questions like "name a brand of sneaker" and "what's a good excuse for not attending a straight friend's wedding" and "name something you do in a bathroom."

Survey says?
Puma!
Out of town that day!
Have sex!

Get a drag queen/king to be Richard Dawson. Get groups of queers - "families" - to compete. gays v dykes. chelsea boys v east village boys. butches v femmes.

the prizes could be vacations in south beach, spa treatments, and olivia cruises.

you could even get sociology/anthropology students to do the surveying, so it would be a legitimate study of culture or somesuch.



then sit back and watch the marathon on a saturday afternoon...

Conference Calls from THE DEAD

Not to be a post hound...
BUT
I had to share something that happened today on my first big LA/NY/FL conference call.
I was moderating and no, I was not up last night at 4AM due to a stress dream in which I was naked moderating this call!
Well, here's what happened. The NY editor wanted to switch to speaker phone so she could enjoy "hands free" conversation and play with the AVID (A really sweet editing system for those not in my industry-think flying machine, or picture a trucker in an 18 wheeler cockpit).
She asked me how to activate the speaker phone and being new to the office I F**ked up and told her instead how to put people on hold. As soon as she pressed the hold button, all of us on the conference call enjoyed a lovely soundtrack provided by The Grateful Dead. I had to get my PA to run into the edit room and have the editor take off the hold button (something I discovered while screaming at the editor in the conference mileu, afterall we were on hold.

I made a joke about how the online will be a sinch, just look at our expertise with a bloody conference call! My PA get's back to me and the Dead go away for one second then they are back-like magic! By now the editor is on the conferece call and swearing that she did no put us on hold again. I calmly told her to please hang up her first line, so that we can hear ourselves think! Some people were sad they wanted the DEAD to stay as a soundtrack, but she hung the line up-eventually, and the music stopped. Some people cheered when it was over, one person asked if The Grateful Dead was dead or would it come back again. I announced as moderator the DEAD have left the building, we have killed the Grateful Dead.

What was the track you ask???
I will get by-
I will survive

Why I live in NYC

Walking to the 2nd Ave Subway always affirms living in new york for me. I have such a great commute to the garment district every morning. It's the best when I see my friend Lori E. Seid walking her dog, or Philip Glass out getting the paper. Last night I had another affirmation. Dining alone in the city is a great experience. I love listening to other people's dinner conversations! Aside from people watching this ranks next for me.
There was a birthday party celebrating next to my table, a bunch of vegans and vegan friendlies eating cupcakes from Babycakes and praising the infamous "shot of icing" for a buck over vegan thali at Madras on 2nd Ave. Anyway, these people got into a passionate disscusion regarding the HBO promos that show highlights from HBO series like the Sopranos and Six Feet Under. One person at the table confessed getting emotional everytime he saw the promos, another said she had a real sense of accomplishment that she had narratively witnessed all of these moments and also got weepy during the promos!

One person took the HBO theme and lead a discussion on HBO's BIG LOVE series- how conservatives are afraid polygamous relationships becoming fashionablecan bolster public opinion of gay marriage.

I liked these people, we were like-minded, I wanted to ask them for a cupcake.

hey jac

i'm thinking of no longer making entries to this blog. i have nothing to say - no new ideas, no insights. thoughts? - a

dialogue

jac: you are so much like the cheat.

me: mnnamnnamnaamna. me!

jac: let's talk about the armory art show.

me: ok. what was your favorite piece?

jac: i liked the elizabeth taylors and the hershey syrup can. i think i liked them because i think elizabeth taylor was portrayed by a man.

me: i liked the flourescent light sign that said silence.

jac: and i liked the big furry ball!

me: you liked all the big furry balls. if there was something furry or round or both, you liked it.

jac: i would like to take all my friends to the armory art show. it is recommended as the number one stress reducer after touring nursing homes.

me: i liked the nursing home with betty even though it was kind of crappy. there was something on the activities calendar called "fun with betty." Betty said, "that's me!". also, the guy who cuts the lawn brings his son in once a week and they play a concert for the residents.

jac: that would make a nice short documentary subject.

culattoni pride

As if I don't have enough to worry about, the Daytime Emmys, my Nana's transition into a nursing home, the ramifications of the new tab energy drink, etc...
Today I read in Reuters:
The granddaughter of Italy's wartime dictator Benito Mussolini has defended being a fascist by saying it was better than being a "faggot".
Alessandra Mussolini's televised derogatory remarks came less than a month after Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi welcomed her far-right political party into his coalition before a general election in April.

Mussolini, proud of her ancestral ties to "Il Duce", had been criticised by a drag queen-turned-politician about being a fascist on Italian TV talk show Porta a Porta.

"I'm proud of it," she snapped in comments due to be aired later on Thursday.

Vladimir Luxuria, who hopes to be Europe's first "transgender" MP and is running with the Communist Refoundation party, then asked if Mussolini wanted to lock up homosexuals.

"Better to be a fascist than a faggot," Mussolini said, using the highly offensive Italian word "frocio", according to Porta a Porta's press office.

It was not the first time one of Berlusconi's allies publicly insulted homosexuals. Mirko Tremaglia, an outspoken right-wing minister for Italians living abroad, said in 2004 that Europe was ruled by "culattoni".

The word derives from the Italian colloquial for bottom (culo) and refers to sodomists.

Disappointing, after Torino's Opening Ceremony for the Winter Olympics showed her aunt and Italian icon Sophia Loren carrying the Olympic flag with Susan Sarandon.
Grazie, Italia!