Whiter teeth and a brighter future

Dear America,
Do you suffer from low energy? When someone asks you how you are feeling, do you respond "fine" even though you have a hang nail and stayed up late smoking too many cigs, tossin' back cheap whiskey and rollin' stogies on your mexican lady's thigh?

Do you smile on cue?

Here's the fix- if you want that promotion....teeth whitening, in a box, now, GO...get thee to the corner drug store, and drop 30 bucks! GO FOR THE GOLD cadillac of teeth whiteners...it will be a brighter 2 weeks in your otherwise, seemingly, low watt existence.